A Modern Christian Mystics Diary

June 1, 2022

On April 6, I was offered the position of a Vine Voice on Amazon.com which I never imagined would happen, and naturally I accepted. It's like a dream! All I have to do is request one or more of the items they offer me daily, and at once they send them to me in exchange for an honest review.

But You, Lord, are the true eternal Vine. I am a Vine Voice, for You, my God, the Living Vine!

Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers. Such branches are gathered into a pile to be burned. But if you remain in me and my words remain in you, you may ask for anything you want, and it will be granted! When you produce much fruit, you are my true disciples. This brings great glory to my Father." - John 15: 1-10

Before I was born, Lord, when You conceived and created me (what an awesome mystery that is!) You knew it all already. You gave me the soul and spirit and drive and desire to be a writer. You always cared for me even when I called you "The Magic Pattern." Ever since you rescued me through my dreams, You encourage me more and more in every way to use my talents as Your secretary (for which position I applied in a lucid dream years ago) and joyfully I serve You because I adore You! And I want everyone to know You and experience Your love and the truth that all joy comes from You, our God.

It's true that the closer I dare draw to You in Prayer, the closer You come to me, and it's also true I can come nearer to You because You make it possible by coming to me! I won't be timid anymore. All I want is to be with You, Lord. All I want is You, forevermore! And the lucid dream you blessed me with, Gabrielle 1873 is just one of the countless gifts You have given me, so that I would know to trust her book, and to understand I was one of the souls You intended to reach through her.

What I read the other day in The Diary of Saint Maria Faustina about the Chosen souls seriously comforted me, because it must be true that not all souls will be with You forever, Lord. Because they do not choose to be, unimaginable as that is to me. You lead all souls to Salvation, but tragically so many do not want to follow You because they fail to love You. This seems to me a most profound and tragic mystery, this failure to love You by beings created by You Who are Love Itself. The jealous pride of fallen Angels has always been emulated by ridiculously arrogant human beings, and together they created hell.