A Modern Christian Mystics Diary

Semi-Lucid Dream of November 15, 2021
I declare, "It was all you, and yet you listened to me!" knowing that everything I have told him had first come to me from Him, and yet he received it as if it was all coming from me, which it was.
It is this stunningly wondrous realization that makes me fully aware of standing in a small evenly lit bedroom embracing the man I love while expressing my deepest beliefs and feelings to him. I slip my arms around His neck, and He responds by lifting me off my feet so I can also wrap my legs around Him. But it is not at all sexual; we simply have to be as close to each other as possible!
As I hold joyfully on to Him, he lays down with me still in His arms so that we are now resting side-by-side and face-to face in the shadowy space between the two beds. We are so close, I can see only one of His eyes, which is gray-and-black and appears small, yet at the same time it has the feel of a distant portal, through which I glimpse a view of the ocean and the dark starry universe. Our mouths are touching, and as our lips part, He tells me in a Voice that is very quiet yet also profoundly deep as in fathomless, "I AM GOD." And
then it's as if we begin slowly sinking together into unending depths. I recall then how I had been hoping for, even expecting a mystical experience, and here I am, floating in a weightless wonder where bright colors manifest (I mainly recall yellow and red) that assume shapes akin to figures, and I know (I sense humbly yet indelibly) that I am truly with God. The experience lasts only a few seconds, because even as it deepens, I also gently surface into waking consciousness.
Lying in bed, I remain in the same position for some time reliving the experience of God's Voice! It was like no other voice I have ever heard, awake or asleep. How very quiet it was only made it more awe-inspiring as I sensed endless depths compressed-contained in the three words intimately spoken to my soul; words I felt as much as heard. It was a Voice like no other, because no matter how many words I search for to describe it, and what I felt hearing it while being embraced by He who spoke, I will never succeed in communicating the intimate depth of the experience. 
Some mystics and Saints throughout the centuries have actually heard God's Voice, but I never even dreamed I would merit this honor or dared hope for it, awake or asleep; I didn't feel remotely worthy. I want to make it clear that I was neither expecting or aspiring to hear God's Voice in a dream.

The day before the night I had this dream, I experienced a phenomena. Listening to an Audio book sitting up in bed after lunch, my bedroom otherwise perfectly still around me, I was astonished to suddenly become aware of a powerful and delicious scent as of many fragrant flowers in full bloom. The aroma was nothing short of divine as I looked around me wondering where it could possibly be coming from. It was November so all the windows were closed. The wondrous scent lingered long enough for me to experience it before vanishing. Then not long afterwards, it came again. It wasn't exactly the same combination of scents, yet it was equally divine! And after once again lingering long enough for me to enjoy it and appreciate it's undeniable reality, it vanished. A short time later, I went downstairs, and as I was crossing the living room the phenomena repeated itself in full force! Again, all the doors and windows were closed, and even if they had been open, not even in the height of Spring or Summer have I ever experienced such a heady and potent blend of such delicious scents!
Although my soul experienced God's Voice as more than a mere whisper, I am naturally reminded of this passage from the Old Testament:

Go out and stand before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there, the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the sound of a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave. And a voice said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” - 1 Kings 19:11-13

We live in times as troubled, or even more so, than Elijah's. But God is with us!